ASD Learners and Sexuality


By: Randy Horowitz, M.S. Ed., S.A.S. and Joanne Capuano Sgambati, Ph.D., BCBA-D, LBA

Sexuality is part of normal human development for every man, woman and child. It is a basic need and an integral part of life. Sexuality is not just physical maturity and sexual intercourse; it is diverse and personal. It’s about relationships, intimacy, and thoughts and feelings about other people. Individuals with ASD follow the same physiological sexual development and interests as their typically developing peers; About 75% of individuals on the spectrum desire and engage in some form of sexual behavior. (A comparable percentage to the neuro-typical population). Behaviors range from masturbation to intercourse and many steps along the way. Individuals with ASD have the same sexual interests, needs, and rights as anyone else, they just may not have the same ways to express themselves and share their feelings.

So what else is unique about individuals with ASD in relation to sex education?

  • Poor social competence and limited peer relationships lead to few opportunities to obtain sexual information, have sexual relationships, and fulfill their desire to have a healthy romantic and sexual life.
  • Cognitive differences (difficulty with inferencing, perspective taking, and theory of mind) can impact their understanding, generalization, and application of sexual information.
  • Language and communication challenges as well as social skills deficits can get in the way of initiating and maintaining relationships.
  • Societal barriers which interfere with learning necessary sexual information that can prevent intimate relationships from taking place. 

It is a natural instinct for parents and teachers to want to protect their children; however, by avoiding speaking about sexuality and sex education, they may be suggesting that sexuality is unimportant or shameful and they may be leaving their children even more vulnerable to frustration, problematic behaviors, social isolation, anxiety, depression, low self-esteem and even victimization.

So, how can we best educate learners with ASD about sexuality?

Start early: Children with ASD may have a hard time with change and take longer to learn concepts. Start very early; and present positively in a calm and clear manner:

  • Body part ID
  • Using appropriate words and language to identify genitals.
  • Private vs. public (e.g., places, behaviors, hygiene, and eventually conversations and on-line activities etc.)

Remember what is cute as a child (like hugging teachers), may be inappropriate in middle school. So, teach appropriate social boundaries early on. Do not wait until puberty to discuss body changes as it can be alarming to teens with ASD who resist change (pubic hair, private time for masturbation, shaving, bras, maxi pads, etc.).

Use appropriate teaching strategies: You can teach sexuality skills the same way you teach other skills to those with ASD. Some ideas are use of visuals, schedules, task analysis, functional communication training, and video modeling. Remember that sexual behavior is still behavior and adheres to the laws of applied behavior analysis. If there is a behavior to increase, decrease, or maintain it is important to know the function of that behavior in order to modify it.

Remember while teaching make sure you are aware of issues regarding consent, legalities in your state, wishes of the parents, policies of your agencies and how your intervention will look to others.

Teach independence: It is natural for parents to want to protect their child with ASD but to avoid sex education and relationship development may actually make the individual vulnerable to dependency. Teach independence on skills that are transferable to sex education:

  • personal hygiene
  • dressing
  • toileting
  • use of a cell phone
  • who and how to call in an emergency

Don’t do anything for them that they can do for themselves. This will help the child be less dependent on others for “help” and able to make their own decisions.

Teach safety skills: . Children with ASD are typically taught compliance, They may not know how to self-advocate and say “No” because they have been rewarded for compliance and listening to people who are “in charge”.

  • Teach them to say “NO” when asked to do something they do not want to do (i.e. “No thank you, I do not want a hug”).
  • Teach them that “Your body belongs to you” and rules for touching (appropriate vs inappropriate touches). They need to know they have rights over their bodies and how to “report” any inappropriate sexual behaviors or abuse.

Teach the obvious: Most children learn from a variety of sources: family, peers, TV, movies, internet etc. Those on the spectrum may not pick up on all this information. They may need things spelled out for them in a concrete literal fashion. “You cannot date women younger than 18”. Avoid or explain confusing language. “A “hook-up” is slang for meeting someone for sex and not a relationship.”

Teach about relationships: Explain the variety of relationships that people have (friendship vs love vs intimacy) and (close family and friends vs professionals, acquaintances, and strangers). Help them be social, learn social communication skills, and make friendships. Best friendships form from common interests (e.g., video games, “Anime”, trains etc.). The internet can help you find special interest groups and meet ups. There are also speed dating and singles groups for those with ASD.

Teach them about themselves: They need to develop self-esteem and a healthy self-concept. Understanding their diagnosis, strengths and weaknesses will help them be better advocates for themselves. Being a better self-advocate will also help protect their sexual well-being.


Randy Horowitz, M.S. Ed., S.A.S.

Randy has a Master of Science in Education from Queens College and a Certificate of School Administration and Supervision from the College of New Rochelle. Randy is currently a doctoral candidate in the educational leadership program at Concordia University. Randy started her career as a special education teacher in public school in Nassau County and then spent close to 30 years in senior leadership positions at nonprofit organizations serving children and adults with autism in NYC and Long Island. Randy has presented at local, national and international conferences on topics relating to educating individuals with autism. Her particular areas of interest include preparing and supporting individuals with autism for integration into community activities.

In addition to her many work responsibilities, Randy is also a seasoned runner and has participated in countless road races and marathons, including our Blazing Trails Run/Walk, raising well over $65,000 in the past 15 years to benefit the autism community.

Joanne Capuano Sgambati, Ph.D., BCBA-D, LBA

Dr. Sgambati serves as the Director of Psychological Services for Eden II’s Genesis Programs on LI.  She specializes in consulting, counseling, evaluations, and behavior management of individuals with autism spectrum disorder (ASD).  For the past 30 years, she has been dedicated to using positive behavior approaches, applied behavior analysis (ABA), for enhancing the lives of students in special education and adults on the autism spectrum.  Dr. Sgambati is an active participant in Eden II’s Genesis Outreach Department conducting live presentations and webinars on a variety of topics at organizations, conferences, schools, and universities. She also conducts training seminars for local schools and various parent organizations.  Dr. Sgambati specializes in ABA interventions for families of children and adults with special needs who demonstrate challenging behaviors. She is also the proud parent of two young adults on the Autism Spectrum.


Resources:

https://researchautism.org/sex-ed-guide/

https://www.autismspeaks.org/sites/default/files/2018-08/Puberty%20and%20Adolescence%20Resource.pdf

https://www.autismspeaks.org/recognizing-and-preventing-sexual-abuse

Ames, H. & Samowitz, P. (1995). Inclusionary standards for determining sexual consent for individuals with developmental disabilities. Mental Retardation, 4, 264-268.

Davies, C., Dubie, M. (2012). Intimate Relationships  & and Sexual Health: A Curriculum for Teaching Adolescents/Adults with High Functioning Autism Spectrum Disorders and Other Social Challenges.

Griffiths, D. (1999) Sexuality and developmental disabilities: Mythconceptions and facts. In I. Brown and M. Percy, (Eds.). Developmental Disabilities in Ontario (pp. 443-451). Toronto: Front Porch Publishing.

Griffiths, D.M., Richards, D. , Fedoroff, P., & Watson, S.L. (Eds.) 2002. Ethical dilemmas: Sexuality and developmental disabilities.  NADD Press: Kingston, NY

Hanault, I. (2006). Asperger’s Syndrome and Sexuality: from Adolescence through Adulthood. (information and lessons for students on the less cognitively impaired end of the spectrum)

McLaughlin, K., Topper, K., & Lindert, J. (2010). Sexuality Education for Adults with Developmental Disabilities, Second Edition. (structured group model) Schwier, K.M., & Hingsberger, D. (2000). Sexuality: Your sons and daughters with intellectual disabilities. Baltimore: Paul H. Brookes Publishing

Practical Applications to Culturally Sensitive Treatment – Part I

By: Nicole Gorden, M.S., BCBA, LBA 


Autism spectrum disorder occurs in individuals from many different cultures and backgrounds. Therefore, cultural competency and sensitivity is imperative for effective delivery of services. To work with autistic learners, is to respect that they are the product of many environments that have shaped them and will continue to shape them throughout their life.

As stated in the most updated ethical code from the BACB, behavior analysts are responsible for incorporating and addressing diversity in practice. For example, the BACB ethical code states that behavior analysts must practice within our scope of competence, maintain competence including cultural responsiveness and diversity. Specifically, providers must “evaluate their own biases and ability to address the needs of individuals with diverse needs/backgrounds” (Ethical Code, 2022, 1.07).

However, what are the practical implementations to culturally sensitive treatment? What does this actually look like in practice? As providers, we are obligated to offer exceptional service delivery with individualized treatment goals. Considering our learner’s cultural background and the impact of their community’s beliefs and attitudes is essential to effective treatment. The following will provide guidance on how providers can apply cultural sensitivity to their clinical decisions in treatment.

Awareness of Own Cultural Biases

Cultural awareness is the first step to providing culturally ethical treatment. Providers should concurrently and habitually engage in practices in which they remain aware of their own predetermined perceptions and acknowledge their own limitations to cultural competency. As mentioned in Fong et. al (2016), “cultural awareness may be important because behavioral patterns that are viewed as problematic in our own culture may be the norm in other cultures”. Due to limitations in diversity within most helping professions, a learner’s provider is often from a different cultural background.

Thus, it is essential to understand the traditions of that culture. As an example, physical punishment may be common practice in some black communities which has been perceived to be deeply rooted in racial trauma (Patton, 2017). It would be insensitive for a provider from a different cultural background to ignore that this practice is a cultural tradition, and thus blame or stigmatize black parents for their choices. Rather, “professionals can offer information about why the practice is harmful but have been told it is necessary, and offer healthier alternatives that produce better outcomes for children, families and communities” (Patton, 2017). Cultural sensitivity is facilitating the development of our programs by checking our own biases and how they may affect our choices in treatment.

Selection of Target Behaviors and Programmatic Materials

A few years ago, a client from Asian descent was transferred to me from another behavior analyst. When assessing the barriers to treatment, my client made minimal progress when asked to identify a fork. Believing that an object, rather than a picture might help, I asked the client’s parents for a fork. When obtaining the fork, the parents expressed that they do not use forks to eat. In their culture, hands and chopsticks are typical eating utensils. Thus, when considering cultural sensitivity, this includes selecting programmatic targets that are common in the client’s environment and the cultural norms.

The teaching materials should be as individualized as the treatment plan too. We should rely on diverse representation in the resources we use in treatment. Providers should use materials that represent the individual’s environment, which is typically a blend of many different ethnicities. When providing resources like visual schedules, do your cartoons or pictures represent the racial identity of your learner? If you are teaching body parts on a doll, do you provide toys that look like your learner? To be a culturally sensitive professional, one should give precedence to ethnic representation to allow the learner to feel validated and treat them with dignity.

The cultural assessment process should be used to inform treatment, specifically when designing the program for validity and selecting targets for skill acquisition (Fong et. al, 2016). When beginning a new lesson or treatment program, it is essential that providers select socially meaningful and significant target goals. However, in selecting these goals for treatment, professionals must consider the cultural norms and needs of the client.


About the Author: 

Nicole Gorden, M.S., BCBA, LBA has over 14 years of experience implementing Applied Behavior Analysis principles with the Autism Population. She currently works for Comprehensive Behavior Supports in Brooklyn, NY.


References:

Behavior Analyst Certification Board. (2020). Ethics code for behavior analysts. Littleton, CO: Author.

DuBay, M., Watson, L. R., & Zhang, W. (2018). In Search of Culturally Appropriate Autism Interventions: Perspectives of Latino Caregivers. Journal of autism and developmental disorders48(5), 1623–1639.

Fong, E. H., Catagnus, R. M., Brodhead, M. T., Quigley, S., & Field, S. (2016). Developing the Cultural Awareness Skills of Behavior Analysts. Behavior analysis in practice9(1), 84–94.

Fong, E. H., Ficklin, S., & Lee, H. Y. (2017). Increasing cultural understanding and diversity in applied behavior analysis. Behavior Analysis: Research and Practice, 17(2), 103-113.

Patton, S. (2017, April). Corporal punishment in black communities: Not an intrinsic cultural tradition but racial trauma. CYF News. http://www.apa.org/pi/families/resources/newsletter/2017/04/racial-trauma

A Spotlight On: “Executive Function in the Early Childhood Classroom”

By: Stephanny Freeman, PhD and Kristen Hayashida, MEd, BCBA. Their new book: “Executive Function in the Early Childhood Classroom” can be purchased HERE

When kindergarten teachers are asked what skills they would like their students to have the beginning of the year, their answers might be surprising!  Parents and caregivers are often concerned with making sure their children can say their ABC’s, count to 10, and know their colors. Some may believe that their children should be reading by the time they start kindergarten.  However, kindergarten teachers often have a different set of priorities, and instead are looking for skills such as:

  • The ability to listen to and follow directions
  • Follow classroom routines
  • Control impulses
  • Resolve a conflict or solve a problem calmly with another child

Kindergarten teachers value these skills because they are critical for school readiness, paving the way for children to be academically and socially successful.  Moreover, children who are behind in these skills can require disproportionate amounts of teachers’ attention, derail classroom activities and routines, and interfere with other children’s learning.

Underlying these school readiness skills are a set of higher order thinking skills collectively referred to as Executive Functions (EFs). EFs are the cognitive control functions that help us inhibit our initial impulses and think before acting.

But while most teachers agree that EF skills are very important, they are not explicitly taught in most early education settings (or at any point in most children’s educational experiences).

What skills are part of executive functioning?

Three key skills are generally agreed upon as the core of EF:

  1. Working memory: holding information in mind to manipulate, work with, or act on at a later time.
  2. Inhibitory control: the ability to regulate one’s attention, behavior, thinking, and emotion particularly in response to distractions or temptations.
  3. Cognitive flexibility: the capacity to shift one’s thinking, such as changing one’s approach to solving a problem if the previous approach is not working or recognizing and responding when the demands of that task have changed.

Seven additional skills are also considered to fall under the umbrella of EF, often relying and building on the three foundational EF skills:

  1. Initiation: the ability to begin a task or activity or to generate ideas independently in order to answer questions, solve problems, or respond to environmental demands.
  2. Fluency: how fluidly one can access and use relevant knowledge or skills.
  3. Planning: the ability to identify and sequence all the different steps needed to achieve a specific goal.
  4. Organization: the capacity to prioritize and make decisions about which tasks to undertake, and the needed resources to complete those tasks.
  5. Problem solving: carrying out the steps to achieve a desired goal, while monitoring progress making necessary adjustments.
  6. Time awareness: part of the broader skill of Time Management, which includes to the ability to anticipate how long tasks might take, to be aware of time constraints, track one’s progress, and adjust one’s behavior in order to complete tasks efficiently.
  7. Emotion regulation: skills including identifying one’s own emotion states and responding appropriately to emotional experiences.

Why do executive function skills matter?

Executive function skills predict a host of short-term and long-term outcomes!

  • They are a stronger predictor of school readiness than IQ.
  • They are also associated with higher achievement in both reading and math throughout children’s schooling.
  • EF skills, when tested in early childhood predict outcomes later in childhood and adolescence, including psychological and physical health.

Because EF skills are so predictive of later outcomes, they are being increasingly recognized as a critically important focus of intervention. 


“Early EF training is … an excellent candidate for leveling the playing field and reducing the achievement gap between more- and less-advantaged children.”

Diamond and Lee (2011, p. 6)


Can executive function skills improve?

Yes! All young children (typically developing and those with difficulties) can benefit greatly from instruction in EF!  Frequent practice of these skills and gradually raising the difficulty benefits children most in generalization and increasing gains. Practitioners and parents should consider:

  • Providing focused instruction in EF skills.
  • Combining explicit targeted instruction in EF skills with other activities in which they can then apply and practice those skills.
  • Building targeted EF skills into daily routines.
  • Providing multiple opportunities every day, particularly for children with disabilities, to test out and practice EF skills.

“Most experts consider the development of self-regulation skills, of which executive functions are the crown jewel, to be the most important objective of high quality preschool—to help children focus attention, be emotionally expressive, not be impulsive, and to engage in purposeful and meaningful interactions with caregivers and other children”  

Blair (2017, p.4)


 


About The Authors

Dr. Stephanny Freeman is a clinical professor at UCLA, a licensed clinical psychologist, and Co-Directs the Early Childhood Partial Hospitalization Program (ECPHP).  For 20 years, she has educated children with ASD and other exceptionalities as a teacher, studied interventions for social emotional development, and designed curriculum and behavior plans in school and clinic settings.

Kristen Hayashida is a Board Certified Behavior Analyst at the UCLA Early Childhood Partial Hospitalization Program (ECPHP).  For the last 10 years she has served as a therapist, researcher and educator of children and families living with autism spectrum disorder through the treatment of problem behavior.

Special Needs Summer Camps

Summer time can be full of excitement for children. Time away from school, vacationing, family events, and of course, summer camp!

For parents of children with special needs it can be a challenge finding a local camp that is able to support yours child’s specific needs. There are a variety of options available for campers with special needs ranging from day camps to overnight camps.  Some programs are need specific while others camps are able to offer a more inclusive setting.

Summer camps can be beneficial for children in various ways. Camps offer environments where children can learn social skills, verbal skills, work on everyday independent tasks, learn new hobbies such as biking, swimming, art, musical instruments and more. While at camp children make important bonds and connections with camp staff as well as other campers. All of these activities and new bonds help campers gain independence, build confidence and raise self-esteem.

Summers camps aren’t only beneficial to the children participating in them. Camps are also a great opportunity for parents to meet, greet and network with each other to share resource information.

To help find a summer camp that meets your child’s special needs try this site:

Special Needs Summer Camps

Interested in reading about some unique summer camps? Check out these additional sites

Social Skills Camp

Bicycle Camp for Speical Needs

Goulds Camp

Know of a great summer camp?  Let us and other parents know!

Learn the Lingo

automatic punishment  Punishment that occurs independent of the social mediation of others (i.e., a response product serves as a punisher independent of the social environment).

Cooper, J.O., Heron, T.E., & Heward, W.L. (2007). Applied Behavior Analysis. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Merrill Prentice Hall.

Simplifying the Science: Using SAFMEDS in Applied Behavior Analysis

When I first heard about SAFMEDS, I wondered how they were different from standard use of flashcards. What I learned, in fact, is that the process is quite different, and it’s evidence-based! SAFMEDS is actually an acronym that means “Say All Fast Minute Each Day Shuffled.” (I know, I know…it doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue.) Created by Ogden Lindsley, SAFMEDS are focused specifically on fluency, or, in other words, speed and accuracy.

While there are some things that don’t require fluency, there are many things that do: such as simple multiplication or letter recognition. This means that some tasks I teach my students will require the use of fluency training, which is often completed through the use of SAFMEDS. Lindsley outlined results of his experiments using SAFMEDS with students and demonstrated that this process of instruction resulted in faster acquisition of fluency than other, similar flashcard procedures (Lindsley, 1996) with his work having been replicated many times over.

So, how do you implement SAFMEDS?

First, get your materials together. Create your flashcards. (I typically use index cards where I’ve written the problem on one side and the correct response on the back.) Be sure to get a timer.

From there, the procedure is pretty straight forward:

  • You will have ALL the flashcards available and the student will respond to as many as he/she can in one minute.
  • The student can run the activity on their own, and will likely go much faster if they are the one turning the cards (Lindsley, 1996). The student looks at the card, provides the response, then puts the card in the correct or incorrect pile.
  • The cards should be shuffled between each fluency drill so that the student won’t learn the answers in order.

I’ve used actual flashcards, but also created SAFMEDS sets using different apps and websites. If you’re interested in learning more about implementing this simple strategy for building fluency, you should take a look here for more information.

REFERENCES

Lindsley, O. R. (1996). The four free-operant freedoms. The Behavior Analyst, 19(2), 199.

WRITTEN BY SAM BLANCO, MSED, BCBA

Sam is an ABA provider for students ages 3-15 in NYC. Working in education for twelve years with students with Autism Spectrum Disorders and other developmental delays, Sam utilizes strategies for achieving a multitude of academic, behavior, and social goals. Sam is currently a PhD candidate in Applied Behavior Analysis at Endicott College. She is also a lecturer in the ABA program at The Sage Colleges.

How To Have A Successful School Experience

Every parent wants their child to succeed in school. The definition of success may differ from parent to parent, but most would agree that they want their child to get good grades, demonstrate good behavior and make friends. These desires are no different for parents who have children with developmental disabilities. So, how do you know if your child is ready and are there ways to predict how well they will do? Tools like the Verbal Behavior Milestones Assessment and Placement Program (VB-MAPP), which is one of the primary assessment tools used at the Behavior Analysis Center for Autism (BACA), can assist parents and professionals alike in assessing their child’s skills and providing them with valuable information as to what areas they can support their child to increase the chances of them doing well in whatever educational setting they may enter.

How To Have A Successful School Experience

General skill deficits will likely determine the educational placement of your child, but may not be the biggest issue at hand.

Behavior problems and problems with instructional control can cause significant barriers to achievement with grades, developing friendships and avoiding expulsion. Learned prompt dependency may make developing independence and responsibility more difficult. Failure to generalize already existing knowledge across multiple examples, people and environments will require more teaching time and may manifest inconsistent performance on tests and classroom work. If your child likes very few things, seemingly peculiar things, or has strong motivation for some things, but is unwilling to work to attain them, it may make it more difficult to motivate them to learn material that is presented. If your child is reliant on getting something for responding every time in order for learning to occur, the teaching process will likely remain a tedious one and decrease the likelihood that they will be able to maintain those responses when those incentives are not provided as frequently. Many children with developmental disabilities will rely on providing themselves with reinforcement in the form of self-stimulation when such dense access to preferred items or activities is not provided.

Overall skill level will undoubtedly increase the odds that your child will be able to manage good grades. However, their ability to acquire new material quickly and then retain that information for later use may play a more critical role in their long term accomplishment. Adapting to change quickly or ‘going with the flow’ will be critical when faced with day to day schedule changes that occur in classrooms or other instructional environments. General independence with functional skills such as toileting, eating and managing their personal items such as backpacks, folders, etc., will decrease the amount of time their teachers may need to focus on teaching these skills and allow more time for teaching other critical skills.

All of these things taken together can seem daunting, even for parents of typically developing children. The good news is that there are things that every parent can do to help. Perfect parenting is unattainable, but valiant and consistent attempts with certain things can go a long way. Allowing your child to experience the consequences of their behavior can be tough, but is central to ensuring that they will behave well when it counts. Having your child try things on their own before helping them and then only helping them as much as needed to get the job done whenever possible will foster independence. Exposing your child to new or different things within fun activities can increase the things they are interested in. Those things can then be used to motivate them to learn. Setting up opportunities for them to experience even small changes, modeling a calm demeanor and praising them for doing the same when unexpected things happen can also help.

Your child’s teacher or other professionals like Board Certified Behavior Analysts can aid you in thinking of other ways to enhance what you are already doing and assist in developing an individualized treatment plan to support you and your child.

WRITTEN BY MELANY SHAMPO, MA, BCBA

Melany Shampo is a clinical director at the Behavior Analysis Center for Autism in Fishers, IN.

This post first appeared on Indy’s Special Child. 

Back to School Savings on ALL Flashcards!

Gear up for the school year with our site-wide flashcards sale!

This week, you can take 15% off any set of flashcards from our website or catalog with promo code BTSCARDS at check-out!

Flashcards Collage

Products featured (left to right): Classifying with Seasons Fun DeckLanguage Builder Picture Cards;
Story Prediction Fun DeckBasic Vocabulary Photo Cards.

View our individual categories of flashcards below:

Promotion is valid on all flashcard products with item code ‘DRC’ until August 23, 2016 at 11:59pm ET. Not valid on VBATT (DRC 795), ALL PICS (DRC 110), ABLLS-R Data & Task Organizer Kit (DRC 710), and ABA Language Cards (DRC 790/DRC 791). Offer cannot be applied to previous purchases, combined with any other offers, transferred, refunded, or redeemed and/or exchanged for cash or credit. Different Roads to Learning reserves the right to change or cancel this promotion at any time. To redeem offer at differentroads.com, enter promo code BTSCARDS at checkout.

Pick of the Week: Oops Groups Categories — and more!

Can you find the “oops” to help complete the Oops Groups Express Train? Our new Oops Groups Categories is a unique puzzle game where players use concentration and memory to find same-color Oops Groups Express puzzle pieces. To win, players must sequentially build the train and identify the one item on each puzzle piece that does not belong with the other items. Categories include food, animals, tools, season, and colors.

This week, you can save 15% on the Oops Groups Categories game, along with our other favorite educational games and toys for teaching categorization and sorting!

Use our promo code OOPS15 at check-out to redeem your savings!

Promotion is valid until August 2, 2016 at 11:59pm ET. Offer cannot be applied to previous purchases, combined with any other offers, transferred, refunded, or redeemed and/or exchanged for cash or credit. Different Roads to Learning reserves the right to change or cancel this promotion at any time. To redeem offer at differentroads.com, enter promo code OOPS15 at checkout.

Teaching Social Skills to Teens on the Spectrum

This week, we’re pleased to share a piece from Kirt Manecke, author of one of our newest additions Smile & Succeed for Teenswho offers his advice and take on how to teach teens and tweens very important social skills such as handshaking and saying “please,” “thank you,” and “you’re welcome.”

Please, Thank You, and You’re Welcome:
Teaching Social Skills to Teens on the Spectrum

by Kirt Manecke

Saying “please”, “thank you”, and “you’re welcome” are extremely important for social and job interactions. Why then is it so rare to hear these words spoken by teens and tweens? I recently had breakfast with my friend and his two kids, who are 12 and 16, at a restaurant. Both kids frequently failed to say please, thank you or you’re welcome to the waitress. I found myself saying thank you to the waitress for them! Their father did not seem to notice their lack of manners.

Research from Harvard University (Deming, 2015) says social skills are the top factor for getting a job. In my former life, when hiring teens for my specialty retail business, I looked for friendly teens with good social skills. Teens who smiled and said “please” and “thank you” were often the ones I hired. I knew they could engage customers and keep them happy and coming back. Often, we are drawn to making friends with people who have these same good social skills.

 

Social skills are especially difficult for teens on the autism spectrum, but many of these skills can be learned, and with practice, can become habit. Social skills are critical to make friends, get a job, and to live a fulfilling life.

Recently I helped some teens and tweens with autism prepare to sell products at a local farmers’ market. I acted as the customer in the initial role playing scenarios and found that the kids did not say “please”, “thank you” or “you’re welcome”. I then used information from my book Smile & Succeed for Teens: Must-Know People Skills for Today’s Wired World to teach them these skills. We took turns being the customer and the employee while role-playing how to say “please”, “thank you” and “you’re welcome”. Using their new social skills, the kids were able to sell chips and salsa at the local farmers’ market the next day.

You can do the same type of role playing with your kids. To improve their social skills, role play the skill with them. For example, have your teen or tween read the section, “Shake Hands Firmly.” Then, practice shaking hands with them, being sure to show them how “Too Tight”, “Too Loose” and “Just Right” feels.

I spent nine months meeting with teens to get their input for the book, and that’s a big reason teens and tweens find it appealing and are reading it. The font is large enough to make reading easy, plus there are fun, informative illustrations with educational captions every few pages.

Since, the book has received praise from teachers and school administrators, as well as Temple Grandin, author of Thinking in Pictures, and The Autistic Brain, who called me one evening after reading Smile & Succeed for Teens. She urged me to use her testimonial, “Smile & Succeed for Teens is a fantastic resource to help teens be successful at work”, to get the book out to all teens and tweens.

A firm grasp on social skills is key to maneuvering through all stages of life. Mastering these skills boosts teens’ confidence and gives them the skills they need to succeed in school, work and relationships. Please share the following book excerpt with your teen or tween to give them a head start in mastering these important social skills.

REFERENCES

Deming, D.J. (2015). The growing importance of social skills in the labor market (Working Paper No. 21473). Retrieved from National Bureau of Economic Research website: https://www.nber.org/papers/w21473.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Kirt Manecke is a an award-winning author and sales, marketing, fundraising, and business development specialist with over 30 years of experience surprising and delighting customers. Kirt’s books have won 11 awards. Quick-easy social skills for teens! He spent nine months meeting with teens for his award-winning book on social skills for teens. Kirt is currently at work on two children’s books. For more information, contact Kirt at Kirtm@SmiletheBook.com.